I Am Not a Grammar Snob But...

I accept the fact that I am science and math oriented.  Writing does not come easily to me.  Literary analysis is a chore.  Poetry strikes fear in my heart.  The thought of writing a research paper would leave me curled in the fetal position for several hours.  As the bumper sticker says, "I are a scientist, not an English major."

I am not a grammar snob.  I've been known to comma splice and split infinitives nary a thought.  Double negatives have a place in my conversation.  I live in the south, so ain't works for me. I do however know a few things that it seems most Americans do not.

I know that a sentence is a group of words that expresses a complete thought.  It has a subject and a predicate.  A sentence begins with a capital letter and ends with a period, a question mark, or, in rare cases, an exclamation point.

I know that your is a possessive pronoun and you're is a contraction formed by the words you and are.

I know that their is a possessive pronoun, they're is a contraction formed by the words they and are, and there is an adverb.

I know that its is another possessive pronoun, while it's is a contraction of it and is.

I know that a lot is 2 words.  I recently discovered that alot is a creature of many and varied talents.

I know that cuz is not a word.  Perhaps in certain company it may be a term of endearment for one's cousin. Cuz is not a substitute for because.

I know that apostrophes are used to show possession.  The are not used to make plurals.  Remember the quote "A kitten dies every time you use an apostrophe to pluralize." 

I feel better now.  Maybe I can get back to grading those lab reports.